by Jonny | Oct 21, 2011 | Updates
I am well known to my friends at them thinking I hate the Chinese Mandarin language. I do not in-fact hate the language, in its own sinister way I enjoy learning the language.
The sole reason I am saddened with this language is because I fail at it majorly. Even the most simple questions, while under pressure, I was thinking too much and in the end I forgot everything I learned. Just the simple questions.
Sometimes I am embarrassed to say I am Taiwanese as well as British considering the fact that my Chinese sucks while foreigners (Even though I should be classified as a foreigner) are much better than me at the language. – I pretty much am a fine definition of a foreigner if anyone didn't know I had Taiwanese citizenship. The only thing going for me is that I never learned Chinese and this is literally the first time I can remember coming to Taiwan.
Although considering the fact that I am Taiwanese, by default everyone assumes I should have some sort of advantage. Those bastards are damn right though! I do have an advantage! I have so many Taiwanese relatives in this country it is unconscionable why I can't speak Chinese. Now obviously having Taiwanese relatives doesn't automatically mean you can speak Chinese. But that should factor into giving you a motive to learn the language faster. I have the motive but I don't have the god damn means!
Of course I have the means, but to be honest I am learning much slower than everyone else. That is what is dragging my motives into a downward ditch as if an aeroplane was smacking straight into the ocean at 5mph's (Though likely not possible) while still being at 5,000 ft. Although the aeroplane is going slow, it still has time to turn around get all four engines back up and running and right itself into the right course at Taipei International airport. (OK perhaps I took that analogy too far…) – Though that is similar to how I am feeling right now.
Perhaps I can right myself. But it is going to take time, however time will catch up with that falling aeroplane if no one does anything about it. It won't have that much time in the end and could reach the ocean if no one is working on getting any of the engines back up again.
So in short: I need to turn my engine back on for Chinese. Or as they would say in Chinese: ??
by Jonny | Oct 21, 2011 | Updates
Let's just say I had an incredibly bad day today. We had our mid-term exam for Chinese and I believe I didn't do so well. The writing test I was more calm and at ease with that, although I do believe I got more than just a few questions wrong. However the oral (speaking) test was bad for me. I was really nervous and frustrated from the writing test. However the teacher couldn't have asked easier questions. My god I failed so bad in that respect. I think today I'll just stay in and chill out at home and leave Chinese for tonight to study. I have been studying nearly every single freaking day yet what I'm seemingly only remembering is the characters. The technical aspects of Chinese such as the grammar and actual understanding of the combination of words is what confuses me the most.
Another teacher from another class told me that needed to embrace the words/characters as if it were my first language. I need to throw out the English and replace it with Chinese. But this is the first language I have ever really put any thought into. Other than online scripting languages such as PHP, HTML, CSS and a few others.
I have a really good Japanese friend and she can't speak English (Only Japanese), she is also learning Chinese while also struggling nearly at the same level as me. However I think she is a little better than me considering she knows Japanese. By that viewpoint I guess she is kind of better than me as she has more of an understanding because of that. Anyway's I spoke to this good friend of mine for around an hour, considering we can't speak the same language that is a feat in itself. – I mean I can understanding her meaning even if they are a little skewed and she seems to be able to understand me and is able to respond in-kind. (Talking in simple Chinese and English; a combination of the tw0) She gave me a hug which is exactly what I needed. I'll admit I didn't know how to embrace the hug considering I haven't had a hug in quite a while. She made me feel good and she said to me "you are not alone", that really helped me.
The only complaint I could make is against my teacher, I don't think she actually cares too much as to whether or not my Chinese is good or not. Where with my speech teacher she actually gives a shit and tries to help me understand. I just wish this course was in English (Especially the grammar part) as I totally get confused when it is explained to me in Chinese.
That I guess is enough for today.
by Jonny | Oct 20, 2011 | Updates
Although my Chinese is still suffering, I'm coming to the conclusion it doesn't matter anymore. I can study Chinese for a pretty long time, so there isn't any rush in learning the language. Although I would love to excel in learning Chinese however that just might not be a possibility. I mean I can remember the characters but piecing them together so grammar-wise they are correct is a whole different story. I definitely need to work on improving my Chinese grammar, that is an area I need to work on badly if I want to pass this mid-term exam I have tomorrow morning. (It is speaking and listening … while also testing my writing abilities and my ability to move around sentences into a more organised way)
I will admit I could have committed suicide just finishing my Chinese class,- as I really didn't understand nor did I really learn anything new in class other than new vocabulary. But I really can do that myself in a more efficient manner.
However a girl called Yan Lin helped me today and she explained what I had to do etc. I am so gracious for the help she gave me and plus I had a good conversation with her friends as well as herself. So it was win-win, although I still think I'll forget everything I learned when I get into class tomorrow morning. But I am thankful as she helped me memorize this dialogue, even though it took 15 times to remember it without looking at the book. We kind of got there in the end. I also fancy her so that really didn't help as inside I was so nervous, but I tried not to show it! xD
Anyway's all is good for now. The question is… will tomorrow be as good? I would be a little devastated if I could at least get above 70% on my test tomorrow. I would be. But I have studied extremely hard in memorizing the characters and I spent two hours or so with Ya Lin, so I would have hoped I actually learned something from that. (Well I hope so… as I can only hope)
After my meeting with Yan Lin, I then went off to the library to study a little more and wrote all the questions that were in Chinese and then answered them. Actually I had to reconfigure the sentences as was written on the sheet.. just like a reconfiguration of the grammar structure. It is a little confusing to be honest for me at the moment. I don't know what the test will be like or what, but I hope it won't be as hard as my practice papers. (Which in the past have been harder than the actual tests)
Then after the library I went to a friends birthday party! That was pretty cool. We ate pizza and I talked to quite a few people! Talking is always great, even if a little unproductive, but hey at least you learn more about other people!
… now it is time to study.
by Jonny | Oct 19, 2011 | Fitness
Even though I said in my 2 recent posts I was eating food at Burger King (Twice in a row) I am somehow losing weight even though I’m not going to the gym anymore. When I did go to the gym I was doing some very intensive exercises such as running (At a very fast pace for around 20 minutes) then I would switch to my abs and my arms then do another 20 minutes of running. – Or I would do that in different order of personal preference.
But now I’m usually just sitting down and studying. Though I will admit I walk usually throughout the day so that does help quite a bit. My abs are becoming more defined and I’m getting comments with people saying I’m looking a lot slimmer. Although I am not fat I am trying to build up some muscle right now. I guess the intensive running isn’t helping me do that, rather I am likely losing a bit of muscle on the side. Today I played football with a few friends. But before I played, I ran around the running track twelve times at a nice pace. (Faster than most people were running) Then of course I played football for around 2 hours so that is really going to burn some calories. (I will also admit I didn’t eat too much today)
But I have come a long, long way. I have lost quite a bit of weight and I will likely reach my target weight (This is my second target weight) easily this month. I’m taking up swimming now considering my body looks much more toned (So I won’t be so ashamed showing it to others) and I can see the six-pack coming! (i.e. I can see the outlines haha) But I really need to tan up the rest of my body considering my face is tanned, but my body is white haha, so there is a vast colour difference.
As for the Chinese, it is coming along, but I believe I will have to retake the same level of Chinese I am currently taking. I have a language partner tomorrow who is going to help me; hopefully. However I feel kind of ashamed having to re-take the same classes again at that level. I mean I have studied quite a bit, perhaps only or mostly on the characters (Which in itself is a challenge). The only comfort I have is that there are others I know who also face similar issues. I mean I know a person who has been studying Chinese for 5 years and she is only one level above me. I would definitely progress beyond that. I also know a Korean guy who stayed on the same level as mine 3 times (He retook the same level 3 times). – So that definitely comforts me, thinking that I am not the only one in that situation. But I have a feeling that all my classmates will pass onto the level 2. It will make it kind of weird seeing them. I guess I am afraid of people looking down me to be honest, that is my one fear and my problem. (It deters me in wanting to learn Chinese as I don’t want to be so vocal about something I am unsure of)
But hey, not all things are bad. In time I will conquer this language. I just hope it won’t be such a long time for me to get it or get the so-called “click” I have been hearing about when learning this language.
by Jonny | Oct 17, 2011 | Updates
It is October and my birthday is very soon. I will turn 20 however the thought of turning 20 with no real highlight in my life is kind of scary. When I was younger I thought of my future as if it wasn't a problem though clearly there are going to be problems. I always thought I could get a job of which I could appreciate. But now I'm just studying Chinese and failing hard at that. I just wish there was a history degree at Feng-Chia University that was taught in English, now that would be something I'd sign up for. Or even if it was purely computer programming taught in English, that would be as equally awesome.
But that isn't the case. I just hope after or even before I turn 20, something good happens. – Perhaps if I suddenly increase in my ability in Chinese or at least play catch up with everyone else. I mean I'm finding things tough right now, no doubt about it. I just hope things change for the better. Now that I know when I have to join the military (Or I roughly know), it has certainly given me more certainty in my life. I wonder what happens when I come out? What will my situation be like? Would my Chinese have progressed to levels I would essentially be satisfied with? I have a long time to study Chinese though I'd rather learn it quickly and in the best way possible. Although it seems I'll have to progress slowly with this language, which is kind of depressing.
I already feel old, even though I know I am not. 🙁