by Jonny | Oct 21, 2011 | Updates
Let's just say I had an incredibly bad day today. We had our mid-term exam for Chinese and I believe I didn't do so well. The writing test I was more calm and at ease with that, although I do believe I got more than just a few questions wrong. However the oral (speaking) test was bad for me. I was really nervous and frustrated from the writing test. However the teacher couldn't have asked easier questions. My god I failed so bad in that respect. I think today I'll just stay in and chill out at home and leave Chinese for tonight to study. I have been studying nearly every single freaking day yet what I'm seemingly only remembering is the characters. The technical aspects of Chinese such as the grammar and actual understanding of the combination of words is what confuses me the most.
Another teacher from another class told me that needed to embrace the words/characters as if it were my first language. I need to throw out the English and replace it with Chinese. But this is the first language I have ever really put any thought into. Other than online scripting languages such as PHP, HTML, CSS and a few others.
I have a really good Japanese friend and she can't speak English (Only Japanese), she is also learning Chinese while also struggling nearly at the same level as me. However I think she is a little better than me considering she knows Japanese. By that viewpoint I guess she is kind of better than me as she has more of an understanding because of that. Anyway's I spoke to this good friend of mine for around an hour, considering we can't speak the same language that is a feat in itself. – I mean I can understanding her meaning even if they are a little skewed and she seems to be able to understand me and is able to respond in-kind. (Talking in simple Chinese and English; a combination of the tw0) She gave me a hug which is exactly what I needed. I'll admit I didn't know how to embrace the hug considering I haven't had a hug in quite a while. She made me feel good and she said to me "you are not alone", that really helped me.
The only complaint I could make is against my teacher, I don't think she actually cares too much as to whether or not my Chinese is good or not. Where with my speech teacher she actually gives a shit and tries to help me understand. I just wish this course was in English (Especially the grammar part) as I totally get confused when it is explained to me in Chinese.
That I guess is enough for today.
by Jonny | Oct 16, 2011 | Updates
… so I'm going to go to sleep now.
I need to get adequate sleep otherwise it will effect my memory from what I've read. According to some internet nerd if you don't get enough sleep, your short-term memory will not be good as your brain processes the information you obtained and stores it in the right compartment of your brain. (So perhaps that is my issue? I am not getting enough sleep! :D) – So here is to a new method to solving my mental issues.
I've completed all my homework and in-fact the teacher didn't give us a 50 questions to answer on our sheet, she in-fact gave us 70 questions to answer. Although I had the help of my cousin, it still took a while to complete the sheet and to be honest I still don't fully understand it.
So tomorrow, I'll wake up early. (Probably around 6 a.m. and just study the sheet a bit more and figure out why the answers I put down were/are correct) 😀
Hopefully tomorrow's lesson goes well. I just hate having bad lessons where I think I've done badly, although I have studied hard for those lessons not to look like a dummy. It just sucks when I have spent most of today studying, yet it seems others spend a couple hours and they are better than me at the lesson. (Though I'm not judging others, I'm in fact judging myself)
Damn am I finding this Chinese hard. Tomorrow I will find a language partner as apparently you can sign up for one at the language centre for free, as they are aspiring teachers who want to gain experience in teaching Chinese to others. So I think that would be quite helpful if I did in-fact sign up for a language partner. Then I could ask the questions I need to ask to actually have this stuff figured out in my brain! I may have to re-take the same level class that I am in again, but I guess that isn't too bad. I met an acquaintance (through a friend) and she had been studying Chinese for 5 years and she is only a level above me and I have only been studying for around 4.5 months. That gave me relief as that made me feel as if I'm not the only one struggling! (Although from my perspective, I am the only one really struggling in my own class, although most of my class mates are Asian!) – So my Korean friend has been continuously saying to me that I shouldn't be comparing myself to them, since their languages are more similar to Chinese than in comparison to English. (My first language)
Another person who is my friend (Who is from America) also re-took the same level as mine. In fact he said he thought he needed to re-take level 0 Chinese. – That gave me hope as I had the same feeling as well! He said he used to come into Chinese class every morning sad, which kind of reminds me of me and when the teacher asked him why he was sad, he would state "I suck at Chinese…". – Kind of the same situation as me. 😀 It kind of made me feel that I'm not alone in this. I mean I have read stories online of people not being able to learn the language within 10 years or they stayed at the same level for over 10 years and never really progressed. I just hope that isn't me. I mean I know that isn't me, because with a little more time I can progress onto the next level. I'm just learning really slowly or slower than others, which is really pissing me off.
/end rant 😀
by Jonny | Oct 15, 2011 | Updates
Okay so we have this small homework book which accompanies the main text book. I find the homework quite easy because if I ever get stuck, I can refer to the text-book and work out from there what to do. Where with these sheets that the teacher gives us, there is hardly any support for that type of content. Or any support which I can understand. 😀
It kind of made me happy that I could do that work and I didn't even have to refer back to the main text-book because we learned all that in class! I mean it is great our teacher is giving us extra homework and work to do; to work out for ourselves, but it is very stressful. – Especially when you aren't sure what you are doing is correct. I will have to spend tomorrow with my cousin to help me with my worksheets or to least tell me if I'm doing any of it correctly.
As for my social life…
I have kind of let that slip for now. I'm just focusing on studying Chinese, remembering the Chinese characters and trying to get hopefully get better at this very difficult language. But because of this I haven't been going out with any friends and I have essentially isolated myself to … myself only. It is kind of sad. But at the moment, I have this attitude of "I don't care about anything anymore…", I just need to learn this language and catch up with everyone else.
by Jonny | Sep 26, 2011 | Updates
I've find my motivation. In fact I don't need any motivation to learn Chinese. – That is my motivation. I feel that if you need to be motivated into doing something, you are going to do it "half-assed". Doing it properly, means you have to like the subject you are doing and you will have to be serious about learning but also find it fun to keep you motivated. (Although I said previously you don't need to be motivated to learn the language for a reason, but you do need to be motivated to study the language, but also enjoy the language) – Now I feel I am talking out of my but-hole, but that doesn't matter, because I'm just spewing whatever is coming out of head.
Although I'm finding Chinese difficult I'm trying hard enough. But is that enough? I hope so. But also gaining proper understanding of Chinese is paramount. You may work your butt off and you may work the hardest you have ever worked, but that still might not make you understand. – I guess that is the stage of where I'm at. But I talked to my good American friend who has studied for a year and he said that the Chinese in the end will just "click" into your head. I guess it's like how I can type so fast and accurately. I couldn't do it before, but after a lot of practice and usage I'm now able to fluently type and as they say practice makes perfect.
Although I haven't been to sleep for the past 24 hours continuing onto now, I feel my drive to learn Chinese at night now for some reason. The only problem is that I don't get any sleep, but I find I'm more concentrated at night, so it's all good.