Feeling not too bad now…

It was not so long ago, I suffered greatly when I started learning Mandarin (Chinese) and it caused me to lose interest. However for some reason today, I gained a lot of interest in the language and I was also thinking of learning other languages perhaps in the future. – Once I have grasped Mandarin to the extent which I believe is sufficient enough.

Right now, I don’t know why I feel bad.

It could be because I’m missing my girlfriend, I’m scared of my future or for any amount of other reasons. ¬†I just have this bad feeling inside of me.

I’ll be eating with my friends tonight for dinner, so hopefully I’ll become more relaxed.

I just wish things could be more the way I wanted it in life and more in the direction I want to go. It just feels as if what I’m doing now is getting me nowhere. God damn emotions.

What have I been up to this week?

To put it lightly, not very much.

As previously stated in another blog post, it was Chinese New Year or Lunar New Year as Taiwanese people would prefer you to say, so I stayed around my parents apartment for most of the time. We visited my cousins, uncles and other relatives on one occasion and celebrated Lunar New Year.

However, mostly in the week, my parents and I stayed at home– and I of course enjoyed my mothers great cooking; plus I didn’t really spend much. (So I saved a bit of money in that sense)

My relationship with my girlfriend is still strong, we speak to each other almost everyday for a few hours and that still doesn’t satisfy me. ūüėÄ Not seeing her face, holding her hand and not being able to talk to her is very depressing. I guess she is the match that lights up my life. (That was probably the strangest analogy, I’ve come up with)

Today probably was the highlight of my day, considering I had pizza with my good friend “Jun”. My mothers friend gave me a sh*t load of pizza, chicken and¬†potato. So I shared it with my friend considering the fact, I would not have been able to have eaten all of it.

Tomorrow, is the start of learning Mandarin, as I’ll have my speaking and listening class as well as my writing class as the holiday finishes up. I didn’t really study much, however I studied the grammar for the most part for the upcoming lesson and a few characters for the lesson thereafter.

Also another update, my sister is coming to Taiwan. I guess I was becoming a little bored of Taiwan as it was becoming very samey or without any variety. Just the same old, same old and not¬†particularly¬†doing anything different. – It gets boring after a while. Although with my sister coming, hopefully that changes for the better. I suggested to my father we take her to this place called Kenting, which I’ve wanted to go to on numerous occasions; however have never found the time. This means missing some Mandarin classes, which is fine, considering I haven’t seen my sister in over a year.

— Signing out and going to sleep!

Damn I wish I had money

I wish I had money that I could spend. I would branch out more on my online websites and do a lot more online and be more active on the business side of things. I could go on holiday’s, live in a nice apartment by myself and be more¬†independent. – I wish that was me. Perhaps one day it will be me. I would love to be financially secure on my own without having to use my parents money or my own money that I saved while I was working in the UK.

I hope to perhaps get a decent paid job in Taichung or Taipei. I have already tried working as an English teacher, but I didn’t like that job one bit. Although the pay was decent, it wasn’t my thing. I could probably still get this type of job, but the thing is I want something I will enjoy working as for once in my life. Like perhaps a typing job. I can type fast and accurately. I need to find a job which I can do specifically to help me earn money — doing something I’ll enjoy.

God damn. I just wish I could win the lottery. Would solve so many problems. Money helps make you happy and don’t no one tell me it doesn’t. It fucking does. But the thing is I hate money, I am disgusted by what it causes to people who cannot buy things, that is what a monetary system does. But because there is nothing we can do about it and we have to live this life with money, I want money and I need it if I want to survive. So I hate money and what it does… but damn do I want lots of it. But hey money does a lot of good, no doubt, but the system itself … well maybe one day things will be different.

 

Headache

Headache

I just want to post "bleh" since I have a really large migraine right now.

 

I have been phoning back and forth to the legalisation office (Foreign Commonwealth Office) to get small details that I am filling in to get 2 documents legalised. It will cost me £60 for both of these documents to be legalised. The cost of sending the documents I am not sure of yet. But the headache begins here. I need to then get the FCO to send the documents after they have been legalised and stamped to the Taipei Representative Office. I haven't done much posting before, so I am not exactly sure how to do all this perfectly without screwing anything up. I think I am doing things right, but there is always that feeling you are sending of documents which you'll never receive back, because somewhere in the process you screwed up.

 

Just obtaining the address in English, where I live was a pain in the butt, but I believe I managed to get the correct address. If not, the address will also be in Chinese. Anyway's after the FCO send the documents (Once they are legalised) to the Taipei Representative Office in the U.K, they need to stamp it. – They charge a fee, so within the envelope I send to the FCO, I will need to attach a few postal orders or bankers drafts to pay for the document to be firstly sent from the FCO legalisation office in Kent to London to the Taipei Representative Office. (I already paid the £60 online through the government website the FCO has, but that is just for the stamping and verification of said documents) Then I need to include a £28 payment in a postal order or bankers draft to the Taipei Representative Office in the U.K. to pay for their legalisation/verification of the documents. It costs £10 for each document at the TRO but then an £8 fee is charged to send the documents back to my Taiwan address where I am currently living.

 

As you can see, it is a little complicated. But that isn't the fact why I am getting a little pissed off. I am just scared I am sending these important documents off and they can easily get lost in the post and I can possibly never see them again. Then what the hell am I going to do? I won't be able to become a Taiwanese citizen which is what I want.

 

The other thing that I don't know about yet is when I will be conscripted for the army. Is it straight after I become a citizen or what? I was hoping they give a few months of freedom when just becoming a Taiwanese citizen and hoping they don't immediately draft you into the army. I am on a language course at a university called Feng-Chia and I want to do level 1 Chinese so I can at least understand and possibly communicate with others in the army. I also want to join the Taiwanese Marines, which I will probably need to know how to speak Chinese. But I really just want to join the Taiwanese Marines for the exercise and change in mentality. I want to do something hard and challenging if that makes sense and I want to be a hard worker.

 

 

I heard the Taiwanese military is especially easy for foreigners since the military drill instructors can't tell you to do much since they can't speak much English. Which causes a problem and they will leave you to do easy jobs. (Just what I have heard) – Which is not what I want to do. I want to do this military training for its purpose of making shrimps into hardcore motherf"&2kers. I feel I am too soft, which is a good thing, but it can also be a bad thing. I just want to bulk up and be honest with myself and I feel this can help me get through a lot of trouble. I want this to be a real challenge for me. But perhaps I won't be accepted into the Marines, which is OKAY, I think if I try hard enough in the army I can still bulk up, but I feel it will be too easy for me. I don't mind the waking up, being shouted at and the exercise which I do anyway's till I drop dead most of the time.

 

I am the fittest I have ever been in my life and I also putting on a lot of muscle at the gym. I think in 2 months time I will be more than ready to join the army. But the problem is not fitness, the actual problem is the language barrier. Perhaps in 2 months time I will be able to understand and perhaps speak basic Mandarin. But I really want an extra 3 months at Chinese, at level 1 Chinese at Feng-Chia University. I have been studying basic level 0 Mandarin, so I can read some characters and write quite a few, but I still suck at Chinese.

 

I think if they gave me the opportunity to study one more month, I could perform much better in the military and this would help them, since I think I would be able to understand these instructors much better. – The fact I will be conscripted into the army for 12 months  makes this a big thing in my life, so I need to be able to at least speak to others who might not know English. There really is that element of worry.

Chinese is hard

Chinese is hard

I wish Chinese was so much easier to learn. I find it so difficult. I am currently probably the lowest grade student in the language course itself. I try and dedicate time for studying, but it appears to me that others can easily understand the language without any problems.

 

I understand bopomofo, which is like abcdefghijklmopqrstuvwxyz, except much harder, since you have to remember what they look like and some of them aren't straight forward like English. I'm failing at class. I have recently managed to get 2 language exchange partners.  I hope they can help me.

 

If anything, the next language I want to learn is Korean. That would be so awesome if I could and since there are no tones in Korean, like there is in Chinese, I won't have to worry too much about saying a word in a different pitch or … tone.

 

I guess learning Chinese will take time, but I wish I could be at least at the same level as others. Currently I am at the bottom and you don't know how that makes me feel. It kind of makes me feel like shit if I am honest. I don't like it. It would be awesome if I could go to university here in Taiwan and learn computer networking or something like that. But first I need to know the language or at least be able to have a conversation.

 

On another note. I am becoming a citizen of Taiwan. It is a little bit of a headache to get everything sorted, but I think I will get there.

 

I just wish things were much easier to do in life. I hope too much maybe or I wish too much. If anything, if I had loads of money, I would do everything I wanted to do. I would travel around the world and bring friends with me. I would do what I wanted to do. I would still learn Chinese I think and would probably buy a really nice apartment close to where my university is. Then I would feel so much more secure in finding someone to love and in diminishing my own insecurities.

 

I recently read a BBC article which stated someone won in excess to $250 million dollars in the UK on the Euro-Millions. Why couldn't that be me, when I did the lottery in the UK? I just wish I had all that money. I would help my friends and especially this South Korean guy that has become probably my most trusted and bestest friend in Taiwan. He is so honest and he is a good friend I would say. He doesn't appear to have much money and is living in a horrible hotel. I would buy myself a large apartment and say to him and his girlfriend he could come live with me and I would help him out money-wise. I would help my other friends too. I would take them to trips around Taiwan and to other countries where we could have a lot of fun and experience the world for what it is, a beautiful place.

 

Well that is just me dreaming, since I'll be realistic and say I will most likely never win the lottery, especially in amounts as big as that.

Fun times

I have probably had my most enjoyable times in Taiwan recently. When I first arrived it was purely sitting around doing nothing and waiting for something to happen. But since I have been enrolled into a language course, I have made friends we have gone out and it has been fun. Learning Chinese has been difficult, but I just need to¬†practice¬†more which I’m finding hard to do with so many distractions such as the internet and going out frequently now. But I have also picked up a few words here and there and I now know how to order my¬†favorite¬†food if I want it. Ordering drinks is a bit of an experience though, you always get a smirk from the cashier or worker who can recognize your foreign accent. It is funny when a cute girl is serving me though, as I am attracted to girls. I also never really had it in me to like or find Asian girls attractive, but since I’ve been in Taiwan, I have become more attracted to them. Maybe because they look cute or what, I don’t know… ?

So where have I been?

1. Sun Moon Lake

Around a week ago, I went on a trip with my university to a place called Sun Moon Lake. It is famous for being beautiful, has an amusement park accompanied with decent roller coasters and a few decent rides. (Not the best amusement park rides, but the scenery and the atmosphere makes it all the worthwhile)

The pictures likely cannot credit enough the beauty of the place I visited (Pictures located down below), but the place I went to was absolutely breathtaking. I enjoyed the scenery very much. Living in the UK or the outskirts of London, I only saw farm-land which has no comparison to big beautiful hills and mountains surrounded by the aurora (Or what it seemed like) of the beautiful sky-line against the back-drop of the mountains.

2. Tiger Bowling

Okay so my other UK friend who I met in Taiwan asked me to get together a group of people to go bowling at this place called “Tiger Bowling”. A quite popular place to go to play bowling. It was fun. Even though I sucked at bowling, it was an experience I otherwise would not have had. I organised most of the guys to come and some or only a few of them invited others. But in the end we got together a group of around 14. Originally Kenan (A friend I met in Taiwan who is from the UK, as said) only wanted 3 or 4 people to come. But I think it was fun that we had a lot more turn up. It definitely shows that foreign students want to have to fun and you can instantly create that by not going out. Some people missed out, as they wanted to revise for the test we had the day after. Though I think I passed that, even though I hardly did any revision.

3. Shubu Shubu

My cousin took me to a nice big restaurant near where he lived via Scooter. It was fun and I am getting used to riding on scooters and not being as scared as I was when I first got one one.

I didn’t take any pictures of this place or where we went after we had dinner, but the food was really nice. Basically you would collect your own food, sort of like a buffet and then you would cook the food yourself in a bowl that was being heated. I had bacon, fish and other types of meat along with other food. I then had watermelon to stop me eating. The cost of the food wasn’t bad for UK-standards, as that type of place would have cost me a lot more in the UK.

After dinner, we went to a bowling alley. Unfortunately we couldn’t bowl since it was very crowded and there were no alleys we could bowl down that were free. Instead we played billiards or pool. I played this previously in the day, so I had a slight advantage over everyone since they had not played the game in a long time. We took turns, but my team usually won. In the end it was like 3-1. I also did something horrible to my cousin. He was setting up the table and the white ball was on the table, I took a shot at one of the holes and ball went flying off the table and hit his head. I could not stop laughing, but I did deeply¬†apologize¬†for this mistake! ¬†He was of course cool and kind of laughing along with me with his friends.

Pictures of all the events

I do have a lot more pictures, but they are kind of private since I don’t want to post any one’s¬†identity¬†or faces online without their permission.

All-in-all, not a bad couple of days.