by Jonny | Oct 21, 2011 | Updates
Let's just say I had an incredibly bad day today. We had our mid-term exam for Chinese and I believe I didn't do so well. The writing test I was more calm and at ease with that, although I do believe I got more than just a few questions wrong. However the oral (speaking) test was bad for me. I was really nervous and frustrated from the writing test. However the teacher couldn't have asked easier questions. My god I failed so bad in that respect. I think today I'll just stay in and chill out at home and leave Chinese for tonight to study. I have been studying nearly every single freaking day yet what I'm seemingly only remembering is the characters. The technical aspects of Chinese such as the grammar and actual understanding of the combination of words is what confuses me the most.
Another teacher from another class told me that needed to embrace the words/characters as if it were my first language. I need to throw out the English and replace it with Chinese. But this is the first language I have ever really put any thought into. Other than online scripting languages such as PHP, HTML, CSS and a few others.
I have a really good Japanese friend and she can't speak English (Only Japanese), she is also learning Chinese while also struggling nearly at the same level as me. However I think she is a little better than me considering she knows Japanese. By that viewpoint I guess she is kind of better than me as she has more of an understanding because of that. Anyway's I spoke to this good friend of mine for around an hour, considering we can't speak the same language that is a feat in itself. – I mean I can understanding her meaning even if they are a little skewed and she seems to be able to understand me and is able to respond in-kind. (Talking in simple Chinese and English; a combination of the tw0) She gave me a hug which is exactly what I needed. I'll admit I didn't know how to embrace the hug considering I haven't had a hug in quite a while. She made me feel good and she said to me "you are not alone", that really helped me.
The only complaint I could make is against my teacher, I don't think she actually cares too much as to whether or not my Chinese is good or not. Where with my speech teacher she actually gives a shit and tries to help me understand. I just wish this course was in English (Especially the grammar part) as I totally get confused when it is explained to me in Chinese.
That I guess is enough for today.
by Jonny | Oct 20, 2011 | Updates
Although my Chinese is still suffering, I'm coming to the conclusion it doesn't matter anymore. I can study Chinese for a pretty long time, so there isn't any rush in learning the language. Although I would love to excel in learning Chinese however that just might not be a possibility. I mean I can remember the characters but piecing them together so grammar-wise they are correct is a whole different story. I definitely need to work on improving my Chinese grammar, that is an area I need to work on badly if I want to pass this mid-term exam I have tomorrow morning. (It is speaking and listening … while also testing my writing abilities and my ability to move around sentences into a more organised way)
I will admit I could have committed suicide just finishing my Chinese class,- as I really didn't understand nor did I really learn anything new in class other than new vocabulary. But I really can do that myself in a more efficient manner.
However a girl called Yan Lin helped me today and she explained what I had to do etc. I am so gracious for the help she gave me and plus I had a good conversation with her friends as well as herself. So it was win-win, although I still think I'll forget everything I learned when I get into class tomorrow morning. But I am thankful as she helped me memorize this dialogue, even though it took 15 times to remember it without looking at the book. We kind of got there in the end. I also fancy her so that really didn't help as inside I was so nervous, but I tried not to show it! xD
Anyway's all is good for now. The question is… will tomorrow be as good? I would be a little devastated if I could at least get above 70% on my test tomorrow. I would be. But I have studied extremely hard in memorizing the characters and I spent two hours or so with Ya Lin, so I would have hoped I actually learned something from that. (Well I hope so… as I can only hope)
After my meeting with Yan Lin, I then went off to the library to study a little more and wrote all the questions that were in Chinese and then answered them. Actually I had to reconfigure the sentences as was written on the sheet.. just like a reconfiguration of the grammar structure. It is a little confusing to be honest for me at the moment. I don't know what the test will be like or what, but I hope it won't be as hard as my practice papers. (Which in the past have been harder than the actual tests)
Then after the library I went to a friends birthday party! That was pretty cool. We ate pizza and I talked to quite a few people! Talking is always great, even if a little unproductive, but hey at least you learn more about other people!
… now it is time to study.
by Jonny | Oct 19, 2011 | Updates
So I was walking to the place where I was going to be playing football. However before you get to that area, you have to pass this tennis court. There were like 5 girls sitting on this bench and they turned around when I passed them. I heard them say "ta hen suai" (I don't know pinyin, I studied bopomofo), which means he is handsome or good looking. They stared at me as I walked pass them. I didn't say anything, but acknowledged they were looking at me. 😮 I was literally just 3 feet from them and was just separated by the fencing from them.
I mean I am a humble person if I am honest, but this really boosted my ego, if I had one in the first place at-all. (I don't have much of an ego to be honest) I still don't get why people call me handsome, I mean in some pictures I kind of look OK, but not handsome, but I have had comments of people saying I could be a model. I literally don't think that, though I probably have the lowest self-confidence I have seen in my life-time. (Although I am damn certain that there are people with lower confidence than that of myself)
I'll be honest I consider myself average looking and sometimes ugly, so when people say I look handsome I am somewhat baffled by this. I ponder at the fact that others can find me … good looking. Perhaps it is the idea that I am foreign which is attractive? I don't know lol!!
by Jonny | Oct 18, 2011 | Updates
Although I don’t want to disclose what has recently happened, I am one happy mother *$#)@#. xD! To describe what has happened, can only be described in one word: HA! 😀
by Jonny | Oct 17, 2011 | Updates
In this entire month I haven't really found time for myself to relax. I have just been studying and trying to improve as I have mentioned in all my other blog posts.
Pretty much my body is at a state where I don't mind showing it to others now. I have toned up with going to gym and doing a lot of cardiovascular exercises. I'm pretty much at the stage where I want to go swimming now at Feng-chia to further tone up every part of my body of which swimming is a very good fitness exercise for this. I just don't know when. I mean I have a lot of free time, while I'll admit, I spend most of that time trying to study, I still have a lot of spare and extra time. I haven't swum in a long time and I feel going swimming will help me relax and chill out a little while also improving my body.
On another note, when I get time… I will be re-designing this website. I have kind of turned it into a journal type blog as opposed to a general blog about my life.
by Jonny | Oct 17, 2011 | Updates
It is October and my birthday is very soon. I will turn 20 however the thought of turning 20 with no real highlight in my life is kind of scary. When I was younger I thought of my future as if it wasn't a problem though clearly there are going to be problems. I always thought I could get a job of which I could appreciate. But now I'm just studying Chinese and failing hard at that. I just wish there was a history degree at Feng-Chia University that was taught in English, now that would be something I'd sign up for. Or even if it was purely computer programming taught in English, that would be as equally awesome.
But that isn't the case. I just hope after or even before I turn 20, something good happens. – Perhaps if I suddenly increase in my ability in Chinese or at least play catch up with everyone else. I mean I'm finding things tough right now, no doubt about it. I just hope things change for the better. Now that I know when I have to join the military (Or I roughly know), it has certainly given me more certainty in my life. I wonder what happens when I come out? What will my situation be like? Would my Chinese have progressed to levels I would essentially be satisfied with? I have a long time to study Chinese though I'd rather learn it quickly and in the best way possible. Although it seems I'll have to progress slowly with this language, which is kind of depressing.
I already feel old, even though I know I am not. 🙁